Pathetic Stuff..!

Warning- Don't Read this Everrrrrr...........!! (Sona ,you are adding this after feeling better about yourself so if you don't want to feel pathetic again Don't read this Stupid >.<..!)

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Again this is coming to me..damn..!!And this time i am not really being able to be reckless to this feeling.Trying hard, hoping now after vomiting all this shitty feeling here on blog i will be relieved from this. I Know its not healthy, to carry this feeling inside me. Feeling of "Why Me".....?                                                Of course, I know i should not or i would say,I do not need a reason to be angry with God. Thats the way it is or it has to be. Life is unfair sometimes to someone. And GOD had chosen me. But  again naaaa.. :( Why ME :/                                                                    After all i never did any crime or any sort of this much bad thing that god decided to punish me like this.I didn't even had enemies. Yes, I used to get jealous,ranted cursed and sweared sometimes but suffering with this illness..?  Its nowhere near to this. If i correctly remember,i never made anyone suffer this much worse. Then why I am one of God's Chosen? Ohhh..! the unlucky me wow...! >:( damn hate being God's special child. I mean who would like to be special in this way..? We are meant to enjoy our lives na..? Thats what Jesus said na..he wants us to enjoy life he has given to us. But what kind of life i have..? :'( How can one enjoy this..? There is nothing to enjoy. Its dark, lonely having not a single beautiful moment with no chances to have it in future. No, what were you thinking..? I too had dreams in my eyes, Now there are only tears left. Tears of failure, tears of not being like others, tears of 'why everyone around me is acting weird'? At least love me the way i want to be loved, sympathy love is painful to bear.                   What a cruel joke it is, when i can't be part of something beautiful happening around me,why it has to be in front of me. Its not that i am jealous of others Happiness but i feel bad about myself na.. :/ Why didn't you think of this while giving me this Sclero thing? haan? >:(                     Duhh..! Whatever, i will see you Mr. God ..! I have a MAGIC POWDER, will take it and this pathetic feeling will vanish B-) . Pull up your socks and get ready for giving me a bad day again :/ because i know you na... You won't stop it... :/ But you know what?Considering, GOD knows it all. Lemme tell you one thing,You don't know me well enough B-)I have this unlimited supply of MAGIC POWDER..! Have Fun in making your sweet plans for me ;-)                                                    Sincerely, Your special Child :/ 

Something Latest........!

Argh, Back after so long, More then a month or so. No, its not that i didn't get time for my blog or i was too busy to think what should i write. In actual i was running from myself, my thoughts. I was finding blogging more difficult than the actual exercise i have to do. Anyways.. now i am here slogging through keyboard and I think i should make it bit more intersting no?. ... how about giving it a name.?..a cool one...? YES..! 

 Ummm, my dear Blogwati.. :) 

You know na..? Waking up in the morning has never been a pleasant thing. Its more of something that I have to do. (I wonder how would she know...?! O.o.. 5 mins before she didn't even exist :P ) The idea of passing the whole day pretending I am fine and supercool with everything around me, tires me sometime. Passing the whole day trying to divert mind just so that i don't end up lying in bed all day long, not speaking to anyone, seeming to be lost in thoughts only to let people wonder what's happened to me.( As if they gonna understand what i am feeling >.< )

I don't know for how long i have to be like this but tired of hating my life eventually somewhere I have started loving it.! ( i know i am weird :/ )  Used to hate the nights... Dark scary lonely.Sleep was nowhere around few months back all my night hours i have spent crying crying and crying some more. Have never been that introvert but that time things were messy, nothing seemed enough to cure anything or make me feel that good. and Miraculously,I never really understood when actually did I start feeling most happpiieeeeeeeee.

Now, I wake up fighting the urge to sleep more. More and more.. But I wake up, anyway. Pass the whole day doing what comes along. Even the smallest thing, such as keeping my desktop clean makes me happy.Moreover i have started studying also :) (or atleast i am trying to do so :/ ) 

The evening.(@facebook :p)  And then the night(@cozy cozy bed :P)! ...

The night and the stars in the sky. The stars that accompany the cold wintery breeze that awakens my heart and soul. And my love SLeeeeeP  is back to me ..! :)

 There is sadness inside, as far as I know but the night brings along something that makes me feel awesome about it... :) Hate to wake up in morning but i loved love and will always love "Wake up sid" ........! 

                                   Does it make any sense to you..? 

                                                      Well who cares..! Goodnite..;-)