Pathetic Stuff..!

Warning- Don't Read this Everrrrrr...........!! (Sona ,you are adding this after feeling better about yourself so if you don't want to feel pathetic again Don't read this Stupid >.<..!)

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Again this is coming to me..damn..!!And this time i am not really being able to be reckless to this feeling.Trying hard, hoping now after vomiting all this shitty feeling here on blog i will be relieved from this. I Know its not healthy, to carry this feeling inside me. Feeling of "Why Me".....?                                                Of course, I know i should not or i would say,I do not need a reason to be angry with God. Thats the way it is or it has to be. Life is unfair sometimes to someone. And GOD had chosen me. But  again naaaa.. :( Why ME :/                                                                    After all i never did any crime or any sort of this much bad thing that god decided to punish me like this.I didn't even had enemies. Yes, I used to get jealous,ranted cursed and sweared sometimes but suffering with this illness..?  Its nowhere near to this. If i correctly remember,i never made anyone suffer this much worse. Then why I am one of God's Chosen? Ohhh..! the unlucky me wow...! >:( damn hate being God's special child. I mean who would like to be special in this way..? We are meant to enjoy our lives na..? Thats what Jesus said na..he wants us to enjoy life he has given to us. But what kind of life i have..? :'( How can one enjoy this..? There is nothing to enjoy. Its dark, lonely having not a single beautiful moment with no chances to have it in future. No, what were you thinking..? I too had dreams in my eyes, Now there are only tears left. Tears of failure, tears of not being like others, tears of 'why everyone around me is acting weird'? At least love me the way i want to be loved, sympathy love is painful to bear.                   What a cruel joke it is, when i can't be part of something beautiful happening around me,why it has to be in front of me. Its not that i am jealous of others Happiness but i feel bad about myself na.. :/ Why didn't you think of this while giving me this Sclero thing? haan? >:(                     Duhh..! Whatever, i will see you Mr. God ..! I have a MAGIC POWDER, will take it and this pathetic feeling will vanish B-) . Pull up your socks and get ready for giving me a bad day again :/ because i know you na... You won't stop it... :/ But you know what?Considering, GOD knows it all. Lemme tell you one thing,You don't know me well enough B-)I have this unlimited supply of MAGIC POWDER..! Have Fun in making your sweet plans for me ;-)                                                    Sincerely, Your special Child :/ 

Something Latest........!

Argh, Back after so long, More then a month or so. No, its not that i didn't get time for my blog or i was too busy to think what should i write. In actual i was running from myself, my thoughts. I was finding blogging more difficult than the actual exercise i have to do. Anyways.. now i am here slogging through keyboard and I think i should make it bit more intersting no?. ... how about giving it a name.?..a cool one...? YES..! 

 Ummm, my dear Blogwati.. :) 

You know na..? Waking up in the morning has never been a pleasant thing. Its more of something that I have to do. (I wonder how would she know...?! O.o.. 5 mins before she didn't even exist :P ) The idea of passing the whole day pretending I am fine and supercool with everything around me, tires me sometime. Passing the whole day trying to divert mind just so that i don't end up lying in bed all day long, not speaking to anyone, seeming to be lost in thoughts only to let people wonder what's happened to me.( As if they gonna understand what i am feeling >.< )

I don't know for how long i have to be like this but tired of hating my life eventually somewhere I have started loving it.! ( i know i am weird :/ )  Used to hate the nights... Dark scary lonely.Sleep was nowhere around few months back all my night hours i have spent crying crying and crying some more. Have never been that introvert but that time things were messy, nothing seemed enough to cure anything or make me feel that good. and Miraculously,I never really understood when actually did I start feeling most happpiieeeeeeeee.

Now, I wake up fighting the urge to sleep more. More and more.. But I wake up, anyway. Pass the whole day doing what comes along. Even the smallest thing, such as keeping my desktop clean makes me happy.Moreover i have started studying also :) (or atleast i am trying to do so :/ ) 

The evening.(@facebook :p)  And then the night(@cozy cozy bed :P)! ...

The night and the stars in the sky. The stars that accompany the cold wintery breeze that awakens my heart and soul. And my love SLeeeeeP  is back to me ..! :)

 There is sadness inside, as far as I know but the night brings along something that makes me feel awesome about it... :) Hate to wake up in morning but i loved love and will always love "Wake up sid" ........! 

                                   Does it make any sense to you..? 

                                                      Well who cares..! Goodnite..;-) 

My new Hotttie boyfriend & i love him ;-)

Yes, its just 2 months and i have fallen for him badly that i am spending almost all my time with him nowadays. You know he is so Hot ;-) like really Hawwwt...!! (Yeah Yeah getting jealous?... aww You should not :( :D) I know i just can't do without him i am that much addicted to him. Addiction-? Nahh..! this can't be addiction ....C'mon its my true pure love for him. A few minutes without him and i am feeling all cold getting numb missing his presence. I feel so comfortable when he is around. His warmth makes me feel sleepy :O i can just give upon him any moment and next moment i am on my bed ;-) :P             

 Yes.. I soooo Love You with all my heart...                                       

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I Love You my Room Heater :') 

p.s. A very vaguely quick post today !:) :D

p.p.s. I have a strong hatred for winters ! But for those who even remotely enjoy the coldness (ehh), Happy Winters You all..!! :D

p.p.s. Saanch don't kill me for this..! :D 

New Year..New Month ..New Post

A new year,new month & new post. Times flies by so quickly, doesn't it? So firstly good bye to 2012, you were truly an amazing year for me. I had learnt so much in 2012, about the world and about myself. One of the things being writing, which is now important to me. 

and... In no particular order*

This year
I

Lost  a friend due to misunderstandings and fights.

(no  exaggeration)

Realized how lucky i am...found someone who was always there for me but out of sight.

Made few new friends, met new people. Gathered experiences, memories and insights :)

Attended the wedding of a really close family member for the first time. Very Jutte Do Paise Lo Moment >_<

                                  Got a brand new niece :D *Dhikk Tanna Moment* <not really :(>

                             Grew up in so many ways :) A year older, much wiser and smarter

Was stunned by an incident that shook the nation and realized, I don't have a NOT IN MY BACKYARD attitude after all. 

                         Spent a lot of time charging my phone and I intend to do it in 2013 as well. 

                                           Survived the Mayan's idea of the end of the world. :D

The memories and lessons learnt within the year always stay with me, and somehow tell me that a part of 2012 has stayed with me, forever. There will be moments where I glance back into 2012 and take another look at what I've learnt, and put it into effect in 2013. However, at the end of the day, I realize that 2012 has merely become a memory, and 2013 is the present.

And finally, taking the spotlight off of myself,  I want to wish everyone a happy and prosperous new year...B-) 

               Tooddles............!!

Ohh Balloons .. I love you..!

I fell in love with these balloons at first sight. (weird? i know i am such a jerk sometymes :D). This pic is from the page saanchi dedicated to me on facebook. Ahhh..!! well though i loved that ranbu wala pic also... what i was thinking that if... if only i will get these gubbaraz and one of the gubara will turn into ranbu? (tan-tadhaaan :* :/ :/ )  Arghh..!! okay not ranbu but then...? umm :/ someone i am looking for..? I am searching for a Balloon right? or may be not..?? Even i have lots of balloons.. some are best..some are bestiest..? then..??
                           Umm may be i am in search of the perfect balloon or maybe i am not. Maybe i don't want a balloon.......maybe i just want a marshmallow. Marshmallow is nice you see and and versatile also. You can have it as a topping or you can dip in chocolate sauce. But no God and his mysterious ways.... :/ Just when you are about to eat your marshmallow happily......... someone comes along and wants to be your balloon.. UHH :/  They come in varied shapes... sizes and colors (or i should say gender:P )but how do you decide and settle on the perfect balloon.Then there are also the problems on how to choose. Some just look pretty but are full of hot air. Some may seem perfect at first but as soon as you take your eyes off them ...they are gone. Some are the good looking ones .... those you always want to have but they are too pricey and when you do manage to get them you wish you hadn't invested so much into them.....How do you know that yes THIS is the balloon I want. This is the balloon for which I would want to give up all my rules..??YO ..!! Thats my best balloon..? 
                Balloons bring along with them alot of butterflies in your stomach. They ask you about your day and if you had lunch. Then they pretend to listen and actually sympathise with your rants about your problems..and the big and small disappointments life throws at you. They are cool like that , they listen . A balloon that smiles at your idiotic talks and actually thinks they are cute. A balloon that is the exact blend of funny and yet not cocky. A  balloon that you can kiss and cuddle with . A balloon that you  want to hug at the end of the day.A balloon that mocks you and fights with you those mushy fights you know. A balloon that calls you just to say it loves you. The balloon you spend hours texting. So nice no ?( i wonder how a blloon would loook like a cellphone in his hand :P nyways :D )  NO. Anyway the phase after finding the balloon is supposed to be bliss...Well so i hear (Or i experienced myself). Until ofcourse your balloon starts liking someone else more or you just lose the grip with which you were holding it...so trustingly thinking it would sit by you always.
             In the wide variety of balloons and in a world where everyone is chasing and searching for the perfect balloon...there are people who are sick of this race. Sick of the let downs .Sick of  their earlier balloons having gone through painful deaths at the end of cigarette butts, needles and sometimes your own sharp nails. A balloon that didn't last as long as it should have ..a balloon that lost its lustre way before time. A balloon that turned into airless rubber. Such balloon burst incidents put you off balloons for a while..a long while .All you want to do this sit in your room and not look at the world full of people that have already found their balloons. So you stop going out.. stop leaving your room and even if you have to..you walk with your eyes closed. You do not want to accidentally run into a cute pink balloon now ...do you ? 
    While you are carefully trying not to fall for any cute pink balloon on your way,( Eyes closed., right ? ) you still miss that one balloon The cute yellow balloon. A color you don't usually prefer ...............but then thats love isn't it .. You still have the rubber of the deflated balloon ....you still look at it sometimes and sigh so deeply but then you've moved on but not ready for new balloons yet..You are thinking what happened to this balloon..?. A balloon that made you truly happy.A balloon that stood apart from the rest ...Why his life was short?. And now Finding a new balloon starts sounding like a bad .. VERY bad idea. It  happens though..eventually. It  takes some time..:) Till then be Happy with those balloons you are already having. (like me ofcours ;-))

So.. this post was nothing ..but one of my nonsense... :P . i just want to tell you all my balloons.. i love you..!! :) 

PS : If the above post didn't make sense to you . Well. Okay. 
PPS : If you have't had enough of BALLOOOOOON in the last 5 mins . Here is some more . :P BALLOOOOOOOOOOOON :D aka GUBBAARRRAAAZ :P

And yes this post is a complete work of fiction :)

Anybody... oops i mean if any Balloon having any problem and wants to confront me..lemme tell you..your questions won't be entertained B-) 

Thankyou status of my 22nd birthday :P

                                  Birthdays r awesum......... nd Surprises r awesome-er :D 

But finnaly its over :( .. big wala thankyewww to ol for yewr wishes :) Facebuk notifcatns, messages , texts ,and fonecalls... made mi day :D 
not to forget MOF wishes too.. feels so goood :D (cover pic chnge krdo now weirdoz :P holi celebratnz ovr :/ :P)
Special wala thanx to few gr8 frndz :P
Su,Shail badtameez grls for srprize :D ..(though i hated dat a*****i idea f urz :( but loved wtevr miss chef cooked :P:)
Saanchi fo Special page dedication B-) (i loved ranbu wala post :* or kisi ko to yaad ee noi rha :'( :P )
Mi favrt retard Shail for PPT wt an idea :P (dis ladka hs not said a single nice thing to me since i've known him .. nd now js wen i had given up hope..:p tan-tadhaan :P)
nd nd... Rochsta too B-) (i kno m awesum :P thnx for telling :D)
nd nd to..
dose whu stayed up till 12 js to wish me in der sleepy voice :/ :P
spcl thnx to pluk for her 5 mins pelle wali wish :P
nd..
mum dad bhai n mona too .. but dat ws nt a srprize :P
ol n ol mi 22nd brthday went pretty well :P

P.S-its gud to celebrate birthdays non chalantly :/ but not evrytym :/ :P.. lookin frwrd for some more fun :P anku,rht :P :P

 Ariel Rumana and 8 others.

Out Of Boredom

Noh.........!! i just can't write what i am feeling inside. Because i know this is wrong. I don't have any right on this earth to feel this way. But its happening to me and i can't help it. No, i mean i can.. its just i don't want to..........?!?!?!?!?[(i know i don't want to :'( ]

                    

                      Phewwww........ hmmm, why the hell its happening to me, i should concentrate on other things.(there is a lot to think about the well being of this world O_o ... ? uhmm ok i mean i have novels,movies.music,health plus its my birthday next week.. ohh.. I was here for something else) ...Yeah,i was about to write a post about my birthday wishes but see here i am typing stupidly whatever is on my mind. Mind?.. i know i am the stupidest girl..But god why na? why can't you make things go nicely -just the way i like, the way i think, the way i imagine.?!?!?! (brmmmmmmmmm  i am still on the same track gosh :|)

                        I know every-time that I write a post, I dart stacks of assurances that I'm gonna continue writing then on etc.. And each time I fade away without any news.. (I wonder if anyone even takes notice of it! :/)

                        

                       You know what.. when i think about my blog (mostly when I cannot fall asleep).. Hatching up word-by-word what I'd write next, all in my mind.. Wondering if all this could directly get posted in the blog (all from my mind!), without me actually having to slog through the keyboard and trying to make it look appealing (only to my eyes!).. Fancying if web-developers would ever design such an app that will enable me to have soo many posts with no efforts at all?? Just my imagination my thoughts my feelings and all this would change into beautiful words in a blip..And then my intelligence would give way to self-realization.. That, "Nahi, kabhi nahi banayenge aisi app. Pehle hi kam jhelti hai kya duniya mujhe, ki aur itne posts kar saku koi chahega??!! :O " Mean world..! >:(

                             
And... All of a sudden I feel so side-tracked.. Was I even there on the track?? 'Cause I have absolutely no idea why am I writing this post..?

                              
                              -Is it? what they call mental disorder? :o (no it can't be possibly,  am perfectly fine. it was just minor knee cramp few hours back ..or whatever it was.. surely it was not in my brain. O_o..coz i've had pain in my knee O_o * noh nah i never believed boys when they say 'girls ka dimag ghutno main hota hai" :| NAhhhh!!! )

                               
                             -Is it for me to get bored of my own blabbering and fall asleep?? (O_o Well, this is some food for thought!)  

                                
No wonder if you're sleepy..! You sustained it soo far?? Gosh! People these days, i tell you, have bumper leisure time..:P

Me,..silly kudi.., who won't sleep and write such posts; and You, Keen Audience, who would diligently entertain such posts..! :)

M glad to have such "velle" onlookers..! :)
You inspire me to write moree...! :p 

                                and You know i LOUV you... ;-)

                                                                Ta-da ....! :)